


There's silence around, but my mind is screaming and I'm tired

by saturn_934



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Superfamily (Marvel) - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Depressed Peter Parker, Harley Keener is Tony Stark's Biological Child, He just need a lot of love and hugs from his dads and his big brother, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Has Anxiety, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Peter Parker is a Mess, Protective Harley Keener, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:41:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28041831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturn_934/pseuds/saturn_934
Summary: - Pete...- I need help, Harley. I need help, I can't keep doing it anymore, i just can't, Harley!And that was my breaking point.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	There's silence around, but my mind is screaming and I'm tired

**Author's Note:**

> Heey, lovelies! So, this is my first fanfiction and i hope you like it!  
> English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes.  
> Btw, leave a ❤️ and comment if you like it, please! Let me know what you think and if you have any requests, please, feel free to share them with me and I'll see if i can do it for you :)  
> Lots of love! ❤️❤️

Silence, there always is this silence.  
Silent, so, so silent...at least, that's what everyone seems to hear when the night darkness comes and their rooms just stay silent, while their sleeping so,so deeply.  
Silent...now let me see, that's not a word that my mind is used to. After all, "silent" is the only thing that my mind can't be. Sometimes - most of the times, should I say - i wish that when the dark of the night comes, my mind could also be as silent as theirs and that i could sleep so, so deeply, that anything or anyone wouldn't be able to wake me up til my mind decided that it was time for me to wake up. But, you know how it is, we can't have everything that we want, if we could, life would be too easy, and people would be too happy or too unhappy, maybe too kind or maybe too selfish and angry. Who knows, right? I certainly don't. So, life is hard, hard as fuck, but most of the people know how to keep a balance between their feelings and how life makes it be and feel.  
I should probably talk about it with someone, i know. But, there's something that i don't know and that i wish to find the answer for it. You know what it is? Obviously you don't, i didn't it say it yet. The thing is, why do i feel like such a burden for every, and i mean, everyone? I wish i knew how to answer it, but I don't so i need to fin-

\- Peter? 

Closing my diary and looking straight at my brother, i sighed softly.

\- Hey, Harls. What's up?

He gave me that look, the look that he gives to me every fucking time when he knows that something is going on with me. I call that "the brother knows everything look" it's stupid, i know, but i can't see myself giving a shit about it.

\- Nothing. But, should i ask you, hm? What's up? What is going on in that big mind of yours? 

\- Just...a lot of things.

I smiled softly and he sat by my side, looking at my diary's direction and raising an eyebrow.

\- Can you tell me about, I don't know, at least one of the things that you're mind is up to? 

Silence. For at least a few minutes, there's only that lonely and weird silence. That silence that we just make because our minds are being too loud, but we can't say a shit about what we are hearing inside of our heads because if we said something, we would be judged as "crazy" maybe "dramatic", and things even worse and even more nonsense shit.

\- Actually, I don't think so, Harley.

There it is. More silence, the thing is, this time, there's not only the lonely and depressing silence, there's also my brother's look at me, the worried look, the look that makes me feel even worse for just making him worry about something so stupid like me and my stupid feelings.

\- I'm afraid of the way you would look at me if i said something that I'm thinking about...

Silence. Again. This time, I look at Harley and i just know, that this silence is only happening because now, his mind is up to something. He seems to be thinking about what he's going to say.

\- You're my brother, and i love you more than anything, more than anyone.

\- Even more than you love dad and pops?

I smiled, you know, that "little shit" smile.

\- So much more, but hey, don't ever think about opening your mouth to say something about it for them.

We laughed and with a nod, i signed and said:

\- I can't sleep anymore, Harls. It's been three days since the last time i could really close my eyes and sleep, and that just happened because i took pills.

I bit my lip, looking at my hands and digging my nails into the palms of my hands, seeing the blood starting to come out not even a few seconds after it.

\- It's just too much, there's always too much going on inside my head and I'm scared all the time, I'm scared and alone and i just...I don't know what to do anymore, Harley.

I felt the tears blurry my vision, felt my heart beat racing faster, felt the panic growing.

\- Pete...

\- I need help, Harley. I need help, I can't keep doing it anymore, i just can't, Harley!

And that was my breaking point.  
I started crying, loud, so, so loud. I didn't care anymore, i just let all the sobs and all the tears come out.  
I barely felt the moment where my brother hugged me and started whispering soft words at my ear.  
I barely heard when my dads entered my room, with scared looks and worried words coming out of their mouths, asking what was happening and if i was okay...of course, the moment they looked at me, sobbing on my brother's arm's, they didn't need an answer anymore, they already knew that i was everything but fine.

\- We got you, bambino, we got you.

I heard dad saying, his voice was cracking, he was scared, sickly worried.

\- We're going to fix, whatever the matter is, ok? You hear me, baby? We're gonna get through this. I promise.

And that was pops voice, his voice as usual so, so confident and comfortable. But now, i could hear the fear that his voice had also.

\- We've got you, Pete.

And finally, my brother's voice.

It took me breaking into my brother's arm's to see that i was loved, that i had people who cared about me and, that no matter what was wrong with me, it could get better. I could get better. I would get better.


End file.
